In an effort to step out of her own comfort zone and encourage others to get out of theirs, TuffSkin Surface Protection Owner Lelia Friedlander addressed a gathering of Tuesdays Together to speak about masterminds and mentorship July 23.
Tuesdays Together is a national group with local chapters all over the United States in which business owners share their knowledge and learn from peers. The idea behind establishing the Las Vegas chapter was to create an atmosphere where business owners help rather than stifle each other, said Casey Jade, a leader of the local chapter and owner of Casey Jade Photography.
In that same vein, Friedlander started her presentation by talking about masterminds, which Napoleon Hill and Andrew Carnegie, whom Friedlander referred to as the “grandfathers of the mastermind concept,” define as a small group of people who meet to grow, learn, evolve and support each other.
A mastermind isn’t something that is just done once; it is done repeatedly with the same people, Friedlander said. Her core mastermind includes her husband and her two children, with whom she works.
A mastermind can take on many different forms — short, long, in person, virtual, etc. — and address a plethora of topics, with each individual offering relatively equal wisdom, experience, networks and resources for the benefit of the group, Friedlander shared. Formats vary but have these general outlines:
• Opening statement: Invokes the power of the mastermind and
allows participants to enter the session with an open mind.
• Blessings: Speak blessings into your life and others’ lives, giving thanks for the power of the mastermind and recognizing the universe as the source of good.
• Forgiveness: Offer forgiveness for your mistakes and judgements and negative emotions.
• Acknowledge wins: Recognition of the triumphs for the week.
• Declaration: Declare intentions and speak positivity into your life, being sure to use specific words — what Friedlander called “giving the intentions more yummy goodness.” Quoting author Joel Osteen in his book “I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak over Your Life,” Friedlander emphasized the power that words spoken out loud have because “whenever we speak something good or bad, we give life to what we are saying.”
• Empowerment: The group acknowledges your desires and the power of the universe, guiding your steps to the manifestation of your declarations.
• Acceptance: Allow yourself to feel the power of the group and give thanks, knowing that your life will change with the introduction of new ideas, courage, clarity and more.
• Closing: Acknowledge your oneness with the universe and fellow group members, direct yourself to be open to receive guidance and wisdom, and go forward as a blessing in your own life and the lives of others.
The keys to making a mastermind work for you are finding the right group of people, committing to showing up, establishing an accountability partner within the group and doing the work, Friedlander said.
“When you commit to show up, that’s when the magic happens,” she said. “Masterminding is not difficult. It’s actually beneficial if you show up and do the work.”
The benefits of participating in a mastermind can be tied into the power of the team.
“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision,” Friedlander said. “It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
Another way people can be driven to achieve bigger and better things is by working with a mentor or coach. Friedlander shared that the success she and her family have achieved would not have been possible without having the support of mentors and coaches along the way.
According to Friedlander, the more informal process of mentoring focuses on building a two-way, mutually beneficial relationship for long-term career movement or general life advice. Although a mentor is a more experienced individual who shares knowledge with a less experienced person, mentoring is a partnership that emphasizes a mutuality of learning. By adapting to the needs of the learner, the mentor learns from the mentee as the mentor builds up the mentee’s capability by helping them discover their own wisdom through working toward goals and self-reliance.
Friedlander said that one trait of a successful mentor is someone who encourages a learner to speak, something that was really tough for her for a long time.
“I was so uncomfortable speaking aloud for the longest time. I felt like I was on stage or something, and I didn’t want the focus to be on me. It was extremely uncomfortable,” she said. “So, with my mentor … she taught me how to speak my mind. She helped me put words to my thoughts and assisted me in getting comfortable in my own skin. It’s priceless.”
She told the group a little about her mentor, Jackie Martin, a business strategist whom Friedlander and her husband met through a personal development program called ARAS more than 30 years.
“I met her and I was taken by her. It was the way she carried herself, it was how she presented herself, how she reached out her hand to me and offered her friendship and offered her knowledge and offered so much,” Friedlander said. “There were so many ways that she has been in my life.”
Friedlander said Martin has mentored her, her husband and her children throughout the years, and Martin also is the reason Friedlander is involved in the National Association of Women Business Owners.
“She said, ‘If you’re receiving information that is going to help you, it’s your duty, your obligation, to turn around and make sure that you are offering your hand back to somebody who is coming up,” she said. “So, I am here today and we are all experiencing this together right now because of Jackie.”
Coaching, on the other hand, is a more formal and structured association focused on improvements in behavior and performance to resolve issues or handle specific aspects of the job. Coaches — whether a life coach, business coach or personal coach — sets or suggests goals, measuring performance periodically.
“Coaches seem to abound right now. What’s true is every coach is different and every coach offers something a little bit unique because we’re all different people,” Friedlander said.
It takes time to find a coach or mentor who is the right fit. Friedlander suggested interviewing coaches and looking within local groups such as chambers of commerce, business associations and other networking groups.
No matter what your goals are and whether you want a coach or a mentor to help along the way, success starts with you, Friedlander said. She recommends taking a personality assessment such as the Color Code, Kolbe or DISC assessments, and to get even more out of such tests, hire a coach to administer the assessment and then coach you based on the information that comes out of the assessment. Friedlander said she and her husband found such assessments very valuable.
“It was a mind-blowing experience because I saw myself on paper. For me, it was a huge validation of who I am, how I operate in the world, and I learned so much about myself by taking that assessment,” she said. “I also found out stuff about my husband. I was like, ‘I’ve always kind of wondered why you did what you do and how you do it the way you do it.’ And now I understand why because of the assessment. It helps me get him; it helped me get me.”
She also encouraged attendees to sign up for something new that would stretch them to something bigger in their life.
“It really is about finding the time, making the time,” she said, “to invest in yourself.”
For more information about Tuesdays Together, search for Tuesdays Together — Las Vegas, Nevada on Facebook.
For more information about TuffSkin, visit tuffskinprotection.com or call 702-778-2272.