The Best of “Resumania”
“Resumania” is a term coined by the staffing firm Robert Half International to describe errors made by job seekers on résumés, applications and cover letters. Although the bloopers are fun to read, the purpose of publishing them is to emphasize the importance of professionalism and proofreading in résumé preparation. The firm has been collecting amusing examples of resumania since 1966, and they can be found (with comments) on a special Web site, resumania.com. Here are a few samples:
Personal: “Excellent at people oriented posi9ons and organizional problem solving.” But not so good at proofreading.
“Very experienced with out-house computers.” Where’d they find an extension cord so long?
Additional skills: “Able to whistle while pretending to drink water at the same time.” If we need help to liven up those staff meetings, we know who to call.
Cover letter: “But wait…there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of finance that is second nature.” If I act now, will you throw in a set of kitchen knives?
Work history: “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.” Did she leave a forwarding address?
Professional experience: “Over 20 years’ teaching experience in torturing.” Let’s hope she meant “tutoring.”
Position desired: “Profreader.” Don’t get your hopes up.
Cover letter: “Dear Sir/Modem.” There’s such a thing as spending too much time in front of the computer.
Interests: “Shot at the local gun club.” Next time, stand behind the bullet-proof glass.
Objective: “Desire a career as a trainee.” Life’s a never-ending learning curve.
Cover letter: “My work ethics are impeachable.” Ever considered politics?
Question: “In what local areas do you prefer to work?” Answer “Smoking.” Will you be having dinner or just cocktails?
Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.’” Be careful what you wish for.
Editor’s favorite: “My qulifications include close attention to detail.” Indeed!
More Americans Now Have Internet Access
According to a national survey by marketing research firm Decision Analyst, Inc., over 64 percent of Americans now have access to the Internet, an increase of about 11 percent in the past year. The most dramatic change occurred in the 55-to-64 age group, whose access increased from 53 percent in November 1999 to 72 percent in November 2000. “Although Internet access is growing across the board, home access is leading the charge,” said Jerry Thomas of Decision Analyst. “Internet access at home has increased dramatically in the past 12 months, while work access has grown slowly. Employers appear to be reluctant to give all employees access to the Internet.” Internet users now represent over 70 percent of total U.S. purchasing power, according to the firm. More than 40 million U.S. households subscribe to Internet services at home.
Did You Celebrate Food Check-Out Day?
Food Check-Out Day commemorates the date when the average American will have earned enough income to pay for his or her entire year’s food supply. February 7 was Food Check-Out Day for 2001, according to the United States Department of Agriculture, which estimates that American consumers spend about 10.4 percent of their disposable income for food. As a point of comparison, Americans work well into the month of May to pay their tax bills. The American Farm Bureau originated the idea of commemorating Food Check-Out Day in 1997. At this year’s celebration, Kay Medlin, chairman of the Nevada Farm Bureau’s Women’s Committee, said, “Our nation’s farm and ranch families are the most productive in the world. We’re proud of our contribution to society.”
E-tailing Threat Turns into Opportunity
Reports of the death of America’s shopping centers have been greatly exaggerated, according to industry newsletter Shopping Centers Today. Despite predictions that Internet retailing (e-tailing) would kill traditional shopping, the reality is less frightening for retail stores, and also more complex. Retailers are selling simultaneously over the counter, through the Internet and by catalog, a blended approach dubbed “integration” by mall owners. “Retailers now are using their catalogs to promote their Web sites, their Web sites to spotlight their stores, their stores to sell on the Internet and all three to process returns,” according to the newsletter.
A recent survey showed that nearly 60 percent of Internet shoppers visiting retailers’ Web sites went on to purchase items from their brick-and-mortar stores, and more than two-thirds of catalog shoppers also bought from the catalogs’ stores. After a rocky start, retailers have devised ways to make integration work for them, including allowing customers to use a call center to change orders placed on the Web site, and installing kiosks in mall locations where customers can order out-of-stock items from the store’s Web site for next-day delivery. Lease agreements between mall owners and tenants are also being revised to take these new selling methods into account.
Double-Digit Increase in Health Benefit Cost Predicted
A survey of 3,300 companies conducted by the William M. Mercer consulting firm in New York predicted that health insurance premiums will increase 11 percent on average in 2001, leading many employers to make the difficult decision to pass these costs on to employees, despite a tight job market. The report showed that health insurance costs rose at double the inflation rate for the past three years, with the average annual cost of health insurance per employee rising 8.1 percent in 2000 to $4,430, up from $4,097 in 1999. Prescription drug costs played a big part in the increase, with employers reporting an average surge in drug costs of 17.5 percent at the last renewal of their medical plan. Forty percent of employers surveyed said they plan to inflate employee contribution levels in 2001, up from 21 percent the previous year. Seventeen percent said they would raise deductibles or copayments, up from 9 percent a year ago. The number of employers offering retiree benefits dropped from 35 percent to 31 percent, as the average cost of coverage rose to $5,537. Complete results of the survey can be found at wmmercer.com.